It happens from time to time that I find myself talking with someone who is not connected to any particular synagogue, but is interested in joining a synagogue community. My advice to them is always the same: It is important to take some time to “shul shop” and see what feels like a natural fit. Of course, I would love for people to join our congregation, and we continually strive to create a warm and inviting atmosphere with multiple points of entry, but I want to make sure those who are searching are making an informed and comfortable choice.
For families with young children and for adults with grown children, this search tends to be somewhat straightforward. There are specific programs or services that they are looking for in a synagogue and, despite the challenges, synagogues are generally set up to meet their needs. But for a growing segment of the Jewish community — people who are young and single, or partnered/married with no children – finding a place that “fits” can be very difficult, in great measure because synagogues often have little to offer them.
The good news: these individuals are looking to join a community! The challenge: we must find new and innovative ways to reach out and engage these folks, including through the creation of programming and experiences that speaks to them.
Don’t take my word for it–check out the following reflection, written by a 27 year old woman living in Los Angeles about her “shul shopping” experience:
It happens most Friday nights. I close my laptop, pack stray work-related thoughts into my mental filing cabinet and begin to decompress for the weekend, when an insistent pang starts tugging at my brain. Something, I’ve long felt, is missing.
Several months ago, I finally put my finger on it: “Shabbat Shalom.” I yearn to give and receive the ritual greeting I’d always taken for granted in my youth.
Where did this urge come from? I’ve got a thriving social circle, a fulfilling job and a wonderful boyfriend. But increasingly, I crave that sense of community, that Jewish-flavored togetherness that blossoms in synagogues, particularly at the end of the week. I’m starved for Judaism, consumed by a gut-level hunger that cannot be sated by a bagel sandwich from Noah’s.
And so, at age 27, I’m back on the market. I’m shul shopping, and I won’t settle until I’ve found “the one.”
Easier said than done. I’m in that gray area age-wise that’s become a demographic black hole of synagogue affiliation – post-youth group, yet pre-marriage and pre-children. Few shuls offer programming meant for me. Even fewer are affordable to a recession-weary “young professional” like myself. I don’t want to be a swinger forever. I want to settle down and commit to a congregation, spiritually and financially. However, doing so will depend on overcoming some practical barriers. Not to mention some emotional ones.
Looking forward to hearing your reactions. Have a great week!