Mental Illness-Countering The Culture Of Shame By Giving Voice To The Pain
A man went to see his physician because he wasn’t feeling well. “Doctor,” he said, “I am suffering from a dark and unshakable depression. Nothing I do gives me any relief. I am overwhelmed with pain and most days, I can’t even make it out of bed. Doctor, what should I do?” The doctor thought for a moment then offered the following treatment plan. “This is what you need to do. Tonight, go to the theatre where the Great Carlini is performing. He is the funniest man in the world and everybody who sees him finds him hysterical. By all means, go see Carlini. He is guaranteed to make you laugh and drive away your depression.” Upon hearing these words, the man burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. “But doctor,” he said, “I am Carlini.”Rabbi Stacey Kol, Congregation Rodef Shalom, Kol Nidrei, 2014
Mental Health. It is a topic that we read about often, but one that we rarely speak about aloud, let alone in from the bima in the synagogue. It is a topic that is often only discussed in hushed whispers, but that is painfully and silently affecting so many in society, and so many of us in this very room, at this very moment.
According to the statistics, one in every five adults has struggled, is struggling, or will struggle with mental health in some way throughout their lives. One in every twenty-five of us is currently living with a serious mental illness. And one in five children have, or will have, a serious mental illness between the ages of 13 and 18. (www.nami.org)
And yet- generally speaking, as a Jewish community, we say nothing. When it comes to physical health issues, we try to be the type of community that is present for one another. We have a chesed (caring) committee that calls, perhaps brings flowers, or even food after a hospital visit. Many of you call the synagogue to make sure that a friend or loved one who is having surgery is on the misheberakh list. We visit our sick friends at home, in assisted living facilities, and in the hospital. We take our friends and loved ones to rehab appointments or chemo sessions. But when it comes to mental health, we often don’t know how to respond, what to say, or what to do. More often than not, we don’t even know that someone in our inner circle is struggling. And so there is a deafening silence as we become paralyzed by the unintentional stigmatization of mental illness; as we fail in our sacred responsibility towards our friends, family, and community members
As we head into the mid-point of the Jewish calendar, I wanted to follow up on my words by sharing with you that we, at Congregation Torat El, are honored to be creating a space to begin discussing these issues as a community by hosting a three part series on Mental Health beginning on Thursday, April 11th. As a community that values seeing all of God’s creatures as sacred, we are inviting all who are interested to join us for the events below. No one should feel invisible because they are struggling, or are supporting someone who is struggling, with mental health issues. Please consider joining us for any/all of the sessions, and please bring a friend. Each program is free and open to the community. We are thankful to be partnering with the Mental Health Association Of Monmouth County who will be hosting the first two sessions.
Session 1: “Starting the Conversation”: a presentation focused on de-stigmatization and the importance of open and safe conversation surrounding mental illness.
(Thursday, April 11, 7pm)
Session 2: “Before Stage4”: Treating mental illness with the same approach as we treat other medical illness before a crisis situation. The focus will include early identification and intervention, screening tools, and where to find help. (Tuesday, April 30, 6:30pm)
Session 3: “The Way We View Depression and Anxiety”: Signs and symptoms, managing stress, self-care, and what is the appropriate level of care/treatment. (Thursday, May 16th, 7:30PM)
Also, for those interested in a helpful series concerning mental health from a Jewish online publication for parents and families, please
click here.
We look forward to seeing you at this series and hope that it will be a starting point in helping our community begin to become more comfortable in supporting those whose struggle is so very real.
